Reaping what you sow. It’s a phrase that you’ve probably heard before once or twice in Sunday school, or when you’re elementary school teacher was trying to instill good character.
This phrase has been in my brain the past two weeks. And I finally decided it was time to write about it! Coming off of a spiritual “high” from attending Passion Conference in Atlanta, Georgia, I have been in a season of reflection. Looking back on what my life has been so far, things I’ve struggled with and things that have gone well, and looking forward how I want my life to look like.
I will graduate in May 2019 and over the past three years, I’ve gone through so many different plans and ideas for career paths, and what I’ll end up doing after school. Last year I started working on my photography skills, and have surpassed what I thought I could do with a camera! God almost threw a wrench in my entire life plan, but I’m ready to roll with it and see what’s in store for 2018. I ended 2017 in a pit of despair, after a whirlwind of uncontrollable emotions and feelings. I had never been so ready for a new year, and a fresh start.
At Passion, I bought the book “Single Dating Engaged Married” by Ben Stuart, and one theme that kept sticking out to me as I read it was the importance of character. How when looking to date, two qualifications for a potential partner should be evaluated by character and chemistry. I felt challenged to work on bettering my character, so that when the time comes and the right guy comes along, I can be the best wife God has created me to be. I want to be able to reap the benefits of a healthy, Christ-like relationship by sowing those seeds of character in my heart now.
Not only in the capacity of relationships, but also health. I want to develop healthy habits and thoughts that will carry me 20, 30, 40 years down the road. I want to get back into a disciplined workout schedule. I’ve been using the excuse, “I’m so busy!” to allow myself to go weeks without working out, when in all reality I know I’ll always be busy. If I don’t learn how to make time now, I never will! The same goes with my finances and generosity. College students often get away with not having to budget tithe’s or giving, because we’re broke trying to pay for school, but if I don’t start the habit now I’ll always be able to come up with an excuse.
I love reading Mary Kate Robertson’s blog and one of her recent posts was on the word “Should.” Well she basically took all the thoughts that have been floating around in my head and put them on paper! I’ve been living in this mindset that things should be way different in my life, and it’s been hindering me from living life at its fullest. This time of reflection I’ve been in has helped me refocus from what my life “should” be to what it “could” be.
I was talking to the manager of my favorite coffee shops, and he reminded me of two key verses that often times we don’t fully grasp the concept or lesson being told.
James 1:2-3 “Consider pure joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11, 14 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man”s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from beginning to the end… I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him.”
I have been stuck with this idea that “I should still have a dad, I shouldn’t have gained so much weight in college, I should have a 4.0, I shouldn’t be struggling with depression and grief.” Though I cannot see it yet, my God has gone before me, walks beside me, and will follow behind me as His plan unfolds along the way. As I walk this path that is most of the time rocky, I fear a God who knows all things, and wants me to be successful. I can rest, I can find joy, I can have peace in the midst of my sorrows knowing that He is good.